Sometimes
Sometimes I wonder if my melanin was white, if life would be better?
My education wouldn’t be a weapon, but an answer to society. I wouldn’t have to worry about my A+ being dressed as a C. If I outshine my peers I wouldn’t be viewed as a cheat. I wouldn’t hear clicks, or see fear in people’s eyes when I role up in my 6-4 with that bass banging in the back. Sunroof top, diggin the scene with a gangsta lean wooh...
Purses wouldn’t be clutched when I walk by. Windows wouldn’t be rolled up when I ask for a dime. I could sport a suit all day, but have KKK written on the tablet of my heart and people wouldn’t question my cruel intentional motivation, because I would be making America Great Again.
I would no longer be seen as a little boy or girl, but a grown woman or man with great potential. My illegal crimes would be misdemeanors and dropped for community service. My color would proceed my resume. In fact, I wouldn’t even need one, because it’s “who you know” right?
When the cops pull me over I would be asked 21 questions before shooting 21 bullets. On second thought, the thought of me being a threat wouldn’t even be a thought. When they ask me to put my hands in the air, I’d have the confidence they wouldn’t send my soul to the air, and I would be able to breathe another day.
Instead of being seen and portrayed as an aggressive gorilla, I would be a beautiful dove assumed to be full of grace from above.
If I decide to take many people’s lives, I would be viewed as the troubled individual who suffered from the belief and opinions of others, able to plead insanity, even though I contemplated, planned and intentionally carried out the whole thing. The nation would mourn for how sad it was that such a promising life turned out that way.
But that’s so much better than being portrayed as a drug dealer or gang banger. Drug addict, weed smoker, alcoholic, poor education, trouble maker from a troubled home. Especially when my life is taken by the troubled dove.
Sometimes I wonder if my melanin was white, if life would be better?
Our peaceful protests wouldn’t be raided by police with guns and horses dressed in heavy artillery. You know the helmets, plastic shields in the left hand, and clubs in the right ready to fight, if things look like they won’t go right. With a gun in the holster ready to trigger because the safety is never on when protests are flooded with color.
But the good thing is I can act a fool, commit rape, tear up the city with my drunk privileged self, because my college just won the National Championship game. I can curse out police, yell in their faces and their hands will be tightly wrapped around the saddle of their horses’ rope and won’t blink an eye, because boys will be boys. If a fight breaks out not a warning shot will ring in the air just police trying to diffuse the situation, because after all we’re really good kids with such bright futures.
Sometimes I wonder if my melanin was white, if life would be better?
My ethnicity wouldn’t cause for an army to try to strip me of my dignity, because I choose to wear my turbines or dashikis. I could stay true to my traditional upbringings. Although, I would possibly fear you, because of who I think you pray to. I wouldn’t be stripped from my family just because a few bad cartels are bringing drugs from another country. But didn’t they just find a whole ship of cocaine worth $1.3 Billion on a JP Morgan Chase cargo ship? We known ain’t Mexicans sitting in the C Suite... so… who is bringing in the drugs? Things that make you say “hmm…!”
I could live in the “land of the free” and actually live free. I could even call the cops on anyone of color, especially black people for “living while black”. It’s kind of a privilege game. I see a black person I’ve never seen before. I call 911 and instead of yelling “Yahtzee”, I’d scream “Arrest them”. Then I’d become a hero. Right? And as a white privileged individual it would be my damn right to do so. Plus all my people would be saying “you did the right think you just never know. “Those” people are just so unpredictable”.
In reality, sometimes I do wish I were white, so I can show my people how to do right. So I can show my people that we are not the sin of our forefathers. That we can do better and be better. We can destroy the curse of generations of false entitlement. I would help my people understand that we bleed red just like “they do”. That our privilege should be used to help others become privileged.
We have no right to say who is good enough based on their culture, race, religion, age, sex or even hairstyle of choice. We have all been given the freedom of speech and that’s how some choose to express their voice. Stop messing with people’s right to the First Amendment.
To help my people know and understand that Jesus is not ours. That He’s not even white. That Christianity calls us to love our neighbor and that means everyone on this earth regardless of the color of their skin. Christian or not, Christ died for ALL OF US and made us equally important and equally as desirable to love.
That people aren’t scary. Only our own lies and insecurities make us fear the reality that’s here.
