Marriage Chronicles: Preparation vs. Purpose
Happy new year! We all know 2020 had its challenges. We were all involuntarily placed on an emotional roller coaster. One thing I can say about 2020 is God reminded me of how faithful He is. And how He always keeps His promises. God's faithfulness and promises kept me quite busy in the second half of the year.
I have experienced so many changes and new beginnings in such a short time. In case you don't follow me on Facebook or Instagram, which is okay because I don't post much, but I got married to an amazing, God-fearing man. This man was not only the fulfillment of a ten year prophesy but what I prayed for in a husband! Crazy right?
For this month's series, I want to talk about my journey, and a few things I've learned thus far. Though first, I want to speak my mind a little bit. If that's okay?
In 2007, I graduated from the prestigious Ivy League, Hampton University. The "real HU"! Even though I was saved seven years prior, I had no clue what my purpose was, but I knew what kind of husband I wanted. At least at that time. The more I grew in my relationship and knowledge of Christ, the more my desires in what I wanted in a husband changed.
Why? Ever since I can remember, marriage and preparation for marriage was all the "church" seemed to talk about for young girls. Virginity, how to act like a woman who would be considered attractive (graceful), how to date, what kind of husband you need, make a list of what you want in a husband, etc.
Just about every teen girls', young women's, or women's ministry meeting, Conference, small group, or outing was always about marriage. Being chosen and/or the latest bachelor being everyone's Boaz. I even stopped being a part of a National Women's Ministry because most of our bible studies were about marriage, our future husbands, motherhood, etc.
In other words, it's almost as if when a woman receives Salvation, they are immediately thrown into preparation to be a wife. Just like the young girls of the latest Netflix hit show, Bridgerton, during the matching season.
Now, hear me out before you come for me. I am not throwing shade at the preparation, wisdom, and knowledge gained from attending the bible studies, conferences, small groups, or outings. I have benefited quite a bit from these very things. I think we have it a little backward. What about purpose? What about the bigger picture as to why we are here on earth?
What if, when a girl, young lady, or woman receives Salvation, we focus on:
Helping her know and develop a relationship with Jesus Christ.
Helping her know and understand her identity as a daughter of God and her self worth in Jesus Christ?
Helping her identify her gifts, talents, and purpose. To allow her to do what she has been called or destined to do on this earth.
instead of giving every saved, female the impression she is guaranteed to be a wife and find a husband if they don't already have one.
Again, please note, this is just my opinion. I am not trying to throw shade at anyone, any church, or any organization. After working in ministry with women and hearing how they feel about marriage, but not having a clue about knowing their purpose, my heart ached because I was once in their shoes. I believe if we tried to focus more on the aforementioned things I listed above, there would be fewer women determining their love and self-worth on how a man feels about them. Men (not all men) would not be intimidated by their wives walking in purpose after 10, 15, or 20 years of marriage (I only mention this because I’ve seen it happen).
And when marriage or motherhood doesn't happen, the heartache and disappointment will be there only for a little while, but her love and self-worth will be intact because her faith would've been built upon a solid foundation, the Chief Cornerstone (Ephesians 2:19-22).
Most importantly, they will still be considered a Proverbs 31 Woman. For a woman becomes a wife to the Lord before she becomes a wife to a husband. And if a woman never marries a man, she's still a beautiful and lovely bride to Jesus Christ (Isaiah 54:5; 62:5; 2 Corinthians 11:2; Proverbs 31:10; 18:19; Ephesians 5:21-33).
So, the next time a girl, young lady, or woman chooses to receive Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior, teach her to be a bride of Christ, before preparing her to be the bride of her husband.
Until next week…
Be Encouraged.
